Friday, April 13, 2012

What Boeing Says Versus What They Actually Mean

The slick flier in today’s Seattle Times published by The Boeing Company just gave me so much to think about while eating some Thai food. God bless you Boeing for all of your honesty.

“This month’s complimentary addition of Frontiers explores an important decision at Boeing Commercial airplanes” (Outsourcing!)

“The Dream Begins in China.” (We better cooperate with them because they are winning economically!)

“We are focusing on cyber attacks” (China is hacking into Boeing computers so we are being outsmarted by them by their own high tech workers and their economy.)

“We are in partnership with China” (We have no choice as they are literally beating the crap out of us!)

“We supply necessities to those deployed in Afghanistan.” (We love to keep the military industrial complex going for our profit while just making more and more and more money bombing innocent civilians. Then we partner with military contractors to help whoever is left after we have bombed them. Sorry about your museums, folks.)

“We are a global business.” (Outsourcing!)

“We have multiple sites!” (Outsourcing and don’t count on your job lasting because we are going overseas for our profit!)

“We are concerned about workplace injuries.” (However, we will deny your claim and force you into a state of utter misery and then find you employable but never hire you back.)

“Improvements continue as Boeing looks at what’s next for the jet.” (When we are done bombing the entire planet, we plan to start bombing all over the galaxy!)

“A special section for readers of The Seattle Times produced and paid for by The Boeing Company.” (We don’t provide this for anyone in the south Puget Sound region because they are poor and we don’t care. Please do keep investing in upside down mortgages and hellish sprawling housing developments while we think of ways to outsource your job and leave investors completely broke. We love our CEO paychecks!)

Good luck to all of you! Sorry about that retirement plan. Goodbye! -AW

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